It’s been a year.
In a few days’ time, it will be my Birthday, most people have parties planned and some even have a “Birthday week” but it’s hard to celebrate your birthday when the date coincides with a forever goodbye.
Last year my mother passed away from a rare form of lung cancer that spread into her bone marrow, it was a sudden and quick illness, but it changed everything.
Hardest decision to make is to take a family member off life support and decide to not commence with treatment. In my heart of hearts, I know if you had the choice you would have made the same decision we made. It was not easy saying goodbye, but small mercies exist as Lindy was here to say her final farewells. A week later, she would have been halfway around the world and alone. To have been able to grieve as a family was a blessing.
One of my biggest fears is that Emily will forget, she will forget her Nene and how much Nene loved her. I guess she was so small when my mom grew your wings.
As hard as it was and still is to lose my mother, I know she is with her beloved sister and those who are probably having a Gin and Tonic somewhere.
It has been a year since my beloved mother left the earth but, in many ways, her presence is still felt, it’s in the small things. I often find myself reprimanding Emily and hearing my mother in my words. “Oh, my word, I’m becoming like my mother!” Funnily enough, this is reassuring, as she was a phenomenal mother. A year has passed, that 365 days, 4 seasons and one rotation around the sun. The finality of losing my mother made me question everything, where my life was going and was I happy? Losing my mother made me make big changes in my life and making me make better decisions, decisions that make me happy.
There is nothing like a tragedy to make people reassess their lives, look at things through new eyes?
I can only thank my husband for letting me grieve and heal in my own way. Letting me leave my job and search for fulfilment. I know it is not easy taking on the entire financial burden that comes with a single income home. Your love is a light and isn’t taken for granted.
A year has passed, and it still feels unreal. A year has passed but you are still missed so much.